5 way to become a Republican

Is there really anyone else?
1. Watch Fox News- The only source of non-partisanship news we have in this country. Glen Beck, Bill ORielly et al, are great people who continue to shed light on the obfuscation that those others profess as the truth. Where would we be if Michelle Malkin didn’t pen those Nobel Prize winning books?

God prefers Americans
2. Put the American Flag anywhere and everywhere- put it right next to the Irish flag and shamrock, the Italian one too. Tell those people with flags from Mexico, Haiti, Poland and others to take them down or leave the country. Red, Black & Green? They should feel happy we brought them here. Away from the Dark Continent to enjoy our hospitality. Blacks sold slaves too you know.

The Gipper
3. Hang a framed picture of the great Ronald Reagan in your house- realize that Reagan was a godsend. His economic policies increased the 1%s wealth hundredfold and we were a much better country that way. The way he broke unions, genius. Stock portfolios skyrocketed under him. The tough talk and how we bombed Grenada back into line. John Wayne would be happy. We supported the mujahedeen against the Russian Bear, helped Sadaam in his 10-year war against Iran, arms and training (bio-weapons be damned) to Dictators.

"Native" American
4. Become a “Birther”- We know that bastard wasn’t born in America; he refuses to show us his birth certificate. His middle name is Hussein people! Arabic name from his Arabic background. Hussein is a MUSLIM name! He supported that effing ACORN, who had the audacity of registering people to vote. We were happily fine with the way it was.

Real American Heroes
5. Finally…When all else fails Blame everything on immigrants – Realize that all of America’s problems came about when we let those people enter the home of the brave. We were here before them and this is our land. They should go back to where they’re from, including those dam Indians. Aren’t they from Asia originally?
Follow these 5 principles and you too can become red-blooded Americans. God bless the N.R.A. and all of those like us.




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